Spring Break Headlines
(Hillsdale AP, in association with Sioux City AP)

Women Drive Twelve Hours on Caffeine and Laughter
"Flippin Idiot" Denies Use of His Salary to Fix "Sewer City"
Giant Cricket Hybrid Attacks Iowan Family
Purchase of Squaw Water Results in Questionable Photo Shoot
Desperate Housewife Caught Spying on Local GI Joes
Mammalian Couple Slain For Excessive PDA
New Course to be Offered on College Campuses Nationwide
Androgynous Pizza Hut Employee Confuses Community
Purple Egg Found in Overgrown Pasture
Boy Changes Spiderman Shirt After One Week
Ghetto Fareway Supplies Family with Sausage
Teens Swoon After Attending Josh Groban Concert
Death Toll Up After Kickball Fatalities
Pastor Demands Wife; Must Like Sushi and Bake Banana Cream Pies (please apply if interested)
Estrogen Time Irks Young Woman's Beloved
Tarantulas Found At Sioux City Mall
Chick-Fil-A Cows Apprehended For Graffiti
Woman Assaults Daughters, Guest with Chocolate Eggs
Cute Girls Spotted Buying Diva Sunglasses
Recent Poll Reveals New Trend: Long Distance Relationships
Papparazzi Catches Glimpse of Camara-Shy Child Star
Runaway Ribs Startle Diners
Michigan State Makes the Final Four!
Man Blames Family Fued On Dominoes
Madonna, Beyonce, and Eminem Cause Distress on I-80
Women Survive Drama, Trauma, and Traffic to Arrive Safely in Hillsdale, Michigan

Yay for Spring Break in Sioux City, Iowa with the Larsens!
Yay for being back in Hillsdale!
Yay for... lots of things, actually.

But I'm done for now.
The End.